Hitchin' a Ride

Hey mister, where are you headed? Are you in a hurry? Need a lift to happy hour? Say, "Oh no" Do you brake for distilled spirits? I need a break as well The well that inebriates the guilt One, two, one, two, three, four Cold turkey's getting stale Tonight, I'm eating crow Fermented salmonella, poison oak, no There's a drought at the fountain of youth And now I'm dehydrating My tongue is swelling up I say, "One, two, one, two, three, four" Troubled times You know I cannot lie I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride There's a drought at the fountain of youth And now I'm dehydrating My tongue is swelling up, I say... "Shit!" Troubled times You know I cannot lie I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride Say birthday boys, hey!